I am so out of the loop on this. People care about what instance they are on?

All systems can be compromised no matter how secure. It sucks that we have to out our kids privacy at risk just to send them to school.

Google’s idea of privacy seems to always be we will protect your privacy by having all your data and making sure we are the only ones who can profit off of it. Its not that they care about privacy they care about them having exclusive rights to your data.

Freetube and newpipe for me. However I will say they just don’t work sometimes. So then I just am left with my browser.

I sent this to my wife for a chuckle and she was like " who is Jessica" I replied its a meme you fool I don’t even have an iPhone.

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It’s very hard to say. Based on your use case I would say either grapheneOS or calyxOS. I personally have a bit of a soft spot in my heart for CalyxOS but technically speaking graphene likely meets your usecase better.