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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 24th, 2023

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  • my husband and I both have ADHD. typically, we fight, I’m over it pretty quickly, he needs until he can sleep to get over it, but I think this is because we usually fight “My way.” I need us to talk it out and dissect what’s actually the root of the issue (usually past hurt, ongoing pattern, or misunderstanding at the onset of the fight). Once the issue is dissected and we commit to a resolution, or even just commit to acknowledging the issue and working on it, I feel loads better. If our flight is interrupted or he gets his way (ignoring the root cause, taking a short break from each other for a walk) then I’m simmering for ages and not that interested in being friendly again whereas he is back to normal.

    Are you better at arguing? Do you typically “win” the argument? Or do arguments usually go along your ideas of how a fight should be structured? This may have something to do with it.

    I second the above recommendation for the Nonviolent Communication book. It’s a short little read / work book and it can get you both using the same language, as well as kind of force you to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs.






  • I grew up in an almost 3000 sq foot home with only 5 kids. I know you were using hyperbole with the ten kids thing, but it was cramped with 7. Always sharing bedrooms, never actually getting your own space, no playing music without bothering someone, hard to do homework when your sister is practicing her oboe. If you want a dining room table that fits everyone and a living room where your family can stretch out for a movie, you need the space. (Also I grew up in Florida so no basement or attic. Not sure how those figure into sq footage)





  • Morally impossible? Geez I guess we should just get ready for more genocide with a side of human rights violations all over our shores too. Sorry, women, black Americans, and immigrants, Democrats would rather make a show of their morals than pick the much much much lesser of two evils. Big picture doesn’t matter here.

    If we had to pick a candidate who aligns with all our morals, no one would ever vote. Vote for Biden, and then to make a difference fight on your local level(city) for ranked choice voting! Once you win that fight, try to get it enacted in your county. Do not waste your vote on Trump over this. That’s what staying home or voting independent will do, and once Trump wins, you’ll regret it. (Trust me, I fucked up and voted independent in 2016 for my “morals” Never again.)






  • Good service is anything outside what you just said. Did you need to ask for any changes/ substitutions? Did you have an allergy they had to accommodate? Are you on a rush and they brought it out quickly for you? Are you splitting the bill? Are there children in your party? Did anyone leave a mess or did a drink spill? Were they extra helpful with recommendations? All these merit a tip. If they do exactly as you said and you were an easy customer, no tip needed (assuming you’re in a country where tipping isn’t customary)