Yep, I completely agree. It’s not so much an insult because you think less of the people you’re being mistaken for. It’s an insult that someone would be so ignorant? Racist? That to them color was the only distinguishing characteristic. I found it offensive when they would call the Guatemalans Mexican or literally any brown person. I’m Mexican btw. When I pointed it out it was always dismissed too.
I think I know how your dad feels. Growing up in West Coast US I didn’t understand why central Americans had such animosity towards being compared or mistaken as Mexican. Then I moved to the south. To my co workers every brown person was Mexican. “hey go ask your little amigo xy or z” was common. “what little amigo?” " The Mexican who’s got the keys to the gate" “I don’t know that guy. Also, he’s Guatemalan. See that flag hanging from his car? It’s a Guatemalan flag” I didn’t piss me off, but it made me feel a way I haven’t felt before and it’s not positive. I now get triggered when people just assume I’m Mexican. It says a lot about them and it’s not good.
asking about ancestry is a good way. I’ve been asked during the first conversation and it hasn’t bothered me. It helped that it was a deep conversation and the topic was somewhat relevant. It makes all the difference if someone is trying to get to know you. I understand I look ethnically ambiguous and if I were trying to get to know me I’d be curious too.
I lived in Tennessee for a few years. I’ve never been greeted so many times with “do you speak English?” Sometimes I’d just be like “nah!” And walk away.
It’s different for everyone. For me, I don’t like it when strangers ask so I don’t ask when I’m the one who is curious. If it’s friends or someone getting to know me, it doesn’t matter how it’s asked. I do not mind. If I’m handing you a beer and say " that’ll be x dollars." And you respond by asking where I’m from, it bothers me. It’s the difference between getting to know someone and trying to fit them in a box. I get that sometimes people are curious but not every curiosity has to be satisfied. When I tell them that I’m from US it’s common to be followed by “fine! Where are your parents from?” That’s just weird. I’d never approach a stranger and ask about their parents.
Thank you!